Building Self Esteem

“Brighton©” was not a confident young star when he arrived at the North Star Academy. He wasn't sure his light could compete with all the other stars in the universe. His self esteem and confidence grew through his experiences and interactions with his new friends and mentors.

It also grew through his triumph and the resolution of his conflict with the Black Hole Bullies. It's unfortunate, but a part of reality, that not everyone in this world wants us to be the best we can be. Bullies exist, and in order achieve our dream of “changing the world, one child at a time©”, we must arm children with the tools to develop their self esteem and spiritual purpose to defeat their bullies-both real and imagined.

It is inherent in ourselves, as it was in “Brighton” that we strive and want to be the best we can be. “Brighton” discovered that being true to himself, trusting in the Light of All Lights, and confronting his fears were the means to achieving his dream and to defeating his bullies. Throughout the book, the development of a spiritual purpose driven life and self esteem are woven as the fabric of “Brighton's” character.

A lack of confidence or having self doubts is natural and constructive for most children. Children are most excited when the have achieved something great, learned something entirely new, made a new friend, or experienced something exciting and special.

TOP 10 Parental Support Steps To Building Children's Self Esteem

1. Provide a loving and nurturing environment.
2. Establish a spiritual foundation.
3. Be generous with praise and encouragement.
4. Provide a positive role model for dealing with challenges and fears.
5. Create structure in their lives where they are allowed to make decisions, learn about the consequences of their decisions, accept responsibilities, earn the trust of others, and develop self-discipline.
6. Discipline behaviors - not individuals!
7. Teach positive internal and external communication skills.
8. Teach your child to set goals and reward their accomplishments.
9. Encourage all aspects of learning - reading, writing, hobbies, adventure activities, sports, etc.
10. Be an active participant in their lives!

There are numerous sites and children's books that provide guidance on the development of self esteem. The following are a few that we feel provide good constructive parental support principles on raising children.

Healthy self-esteem is a child's armor against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures.

Dr. Mesinger notes that patterns start very early in life. “At about the age of 3 or 4,” he says, “children are exploring many ideas and reaching conclusions about themselves that begin to crystallize.” But the process starts even before then, during infancy. When a baby or toddler reaches a milestone, she experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters her developing self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts or finally mastering getting the spoon into her mouth every time she eats are experiences that teach a young child a “can do” attitude. The concept of success following persistence starts early.

As a child tries, fails, tries again, fails again and again, and then finally succeeds, she is developing ideas about her own capabilities. At the same time, she is creating thoughts about herself based on her interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping a child form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.

What Parents Can Do to Help Build Self Esteem

KidsHealth provides a good step by step process for helping your children.
Click here to learn more.

• Watch what you say.
• Be a positive role model.
• Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate beliefs.
• Be spontaneous and affectionate with your child.
• Give positive, accurate feedback.
• Create a safe, nurturing home environment.
• Help your child become involved in constructive experiences.

Family Education is a site that also provides constructive resources for raising and developing a child's self esteem.

1. Help your child feel special and appreciated.
2. Help your child to develop problem-solving and decision-making skills.
3. Avoid comments that are judgmental and instead, frame them in more positive terms.
4. Be an empathetic parent.
5. Provide choices for your child.
6. Do not compare siblings.
7. Highlight your child's strengths.
8. Provide opportunities for children to help.
9. Have realistic expectations and goals for your child.
10. If your child has a learning disability, help your child to understand the nature of her problem.

All children need love and appreciation and thrive on positive attention. Yet, how often do parents forget to use words of encouragement such as, "that's right," "wonderful," or "good job"? No matter the age of children or adolescents, good parent-child communication is essential for raising children with self-esteem and confidence.

Helping Your Child Develop Self Esteem

Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children and teenagers. This page will share the basics for helping kids and teens to improve their self-esteem. It will also point you to other CDI pages and CDI products that can help you to improve your child's or teenager's self-esteem.